My Mama Says There Aren't Any Zombies, Ghosts, Vampires, Demons, Monsters, Fiends, Goblins, or Things

Who's there?

Someone with sad underwear.

Sad underwear? How can that be?

When my best friend's mad at me,

Everything is sad.

Even my underwear.
"

But sad underwear is just one of the many complications a person has to deal with. There's the first day of school ("Will they let me go when I need to go to the bathroom?") and pests like Wayne ("a fellow who clogs up life's drain") and bee stings and liver for supper -- and missing your dad.

This companion volume to the acclaimed "If I Were in Charge of the World and Other Worries" has poems for explorers and dreamers, for people who love unicorns, for people who'd rather have pets than baby sisters. Funny, poignant and always true, it examines and celebrates life with all of its perplexing complications.